{"id":137322,"date":"2024-02-15T09:33:27","date_gmt":"2024-02-15T08:33:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/?p=137322"},"modified":"2026-02-26T13:25:35","modified_gmt":"2026-02-26T12:25:35","slug":"systemic-approach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/systemisch-werken","title":{"rendered":"Systemic approach"},"content":{"rendered":"

Veel mensen die bezig zijn met het opruimen van oude trauma’s komen bij een therapeut terecht die zich bezig houdt met systemisch werken. Sonja Elferink<\/a>, a close friend of Marianne\u2019s, is a trainer in systemic work and family constellations, a facilitator of various workshops and a complementary therapist. Sonja runs her training course in systemic work in our beautiful venue in Heiloo. This inspired Marianne \u2013 as did Sonja\u2019s request \u2013 to develop a new, wonderful range to use during these constellations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is a family constellation?<\/em>?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Systemic work is a form of therapy based on the premise that we are all part of a system, a group \u2013 such as your family, for example. Every individual within the family behaves according to a certain (unconscious) pattern. During a family constellation, under the guidance of the therapist, you will examine events and\/or people within your family system that are interconnected. These connections can influence the past and the present, but also the future. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Sonja Elferink on systemic work:<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

‘Een familieopstelling kan jou inzicht geven in jouw gedrag en ook in jouw relaties. Het laat jou duidelijk zien hoe de familiebanden van invloed zijn op jouw leven. Soms kunnen er gebeurtenissen van vele generaties terug, nu nog van invloed zijn op jouw manier van in het leven staan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The root of the problems you\u2019re experiencing doesn\u2019t necessarily lie in your own story, but may also stem from the stories of our parents, grandparents and even further back in the family system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trauma (unresolved emotions) can be passed down from one generation to the next. In other words, time does not heal all wounds. Fragments of life experiences, memories and physical sensations may manifest themselves within your system in order to find a resolution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Door middel van familieopstellingen en systemisch werk kan je inzicht krijgen in deze verborgen patronen in de onderstroom en de cirkel van pijn en lijden doorbreken. De geurfrequenties uit deze lijn kunnen je ondersteunen in het proces tijdens een opstelling maar zijn ook helpend wanneer je bijvoorbeeld met een moederstuk aan de slag wilt.’<\/p>\n\n\n\n

‘Pijn reist door het systeem, net zolang tot iemand bereid is te voelen’<\/em> – Stephi Wagner<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When are you going to do a family constellation?<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes you might keep coming up against the same issues over and over again, and you just can\u2019t quite put your finger on where they\u2019re coming from. It may well be that your family carries a certain kind of karma, of which you\u2019ve also become a part. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanneer je wordt geboren ben je niet volledig de ‘Tabula Rasa’ (het onbeschreven blad), je neemt toch al onverwerkte emoties mee en energetisch draag je ook al dingen met je mee. Wat te denken aan de emoties die tijdens het moment van conceptie hebben meegespeeld. Maar ook onverwerkte emoties van ouders, grootouders en nog verder terug in de familielijn. Dit draag jij met je mee als kind en je voelt de emoties en pijn van deze (groot) ouders als kind. Zo kan het generaties blijven sudderen tot er iemand mee aan de slag gaat. Door een familieopstelling kan het ‘probleem’ heel snel heel duidelijk en helder naar voren komen. Emoties van onverwerkte zaken die niet van jou zijn kan je dan eindelijk los laten en je ziet eindelijk wie jij echt bent. Je leeft vaak naar het verlangen van je ouders. Doorbreek deze illusie en kom terug bij jezelf. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The scent frequencies<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As a therapist, you can make wonderful use of the scent frequencies from this range when facilitating a family constellation. You can also continue to use a scent after a session to help you break certain patterns within the family. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"the<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\ud835\ude73\ud835\ude8e \ud835\ude7e\ud835\ude99\ud835\ude9c\ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9b<\/a> – \ud835\ude71\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude93 \ud835\ude93\ud835\ude8e\ud835\udea3\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8f \ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97 \ud835\ude9f\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude8b\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude97\ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As a facilitator, you connect with your client. You can imagine that if there\u2019s something going on within you yourself, you may be affected by your client\u2019s process. And that\u2019s perfectly fine as long as you\u2019re aware of it and can allow yourself to feel it at that moment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the facilitator, it\u2019s helpful to focus half your attention on yourself and the other half on the client and the constellation. You then use your body as an instrument of resonance and a mirror, and it\u2019s helpful if your own system is like a blank sheet of paper. In this way, your intuition works at full capacity and you become the quiet, spacious centre in which the constellation takes place. You can then observe keenly and be at ease with whatever arises. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\ud835\ude7c\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9b<\/a> – \ud835\ude76\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9f\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude95 \ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97 \ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude96\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9c<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your mother represents your inner world. The way in which you have connected with your mother on an inner level determines whether you can connect fully with others without losing yourself in the process. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you accept your mother completely and wholeheartedly, with everything she has given and everything she has not given? Can you allow her way of loving, even if you don\u2019t need it? The moment you perceive your mother as a source of pain (which can even begin whilst you\u2019re still in the womb), you lose that connection and will no longer feel safe and secure in that aspect of your life. When you can fully accept your mother for who she is, your life energy can flow and be felt at the deepest level.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\"mother<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"Dad<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\ud835\ude85\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9b<\/a> – \ud835\ude71\ud835\ude9e\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97\ud835\udea0\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your father represents your external world. When you feel unseen by your father, a desire may arise to prove yourself to society, and you begin to seek recognition and validation in the outside world. If that doesn\u2019t work out, you may feel powerless and fail to take the initiative. The opposite can also be experienced: a compulsion to prove yourself arises, and you seek success and to be seen. When you can fully accept your father for who he is, your motivation shifts from seeking validation in the outside world to your inner drive. You then follow your own heart and authenticity and are no longer dependent on what the outside world wants from you or thinks of you. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\ud835\ude86\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude90\ud835\ude91\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude8d<\/a> – \ud835\ude7b\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude8f \ud835\ude93\ud835\ude8e \ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9f\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Can you feel at home in your body? Can you experience that everything is already fine just as it is? Can you sense that separation is an illusion? Or do you still need all sorts of things to feel good or better? You no longer need to fight for anything because you\u2019re already good enough. Nothing is missing, and you don\u2019t need to work on yourself either. Life has \u2018crafted\u2019 you just as you are, so why would you go into battle with life itself? We often think we know better, and then we find ourselves at odds with reality. When you become aware of this, you can let go of your inner struggle and surrender to what is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may derive your dignity from Life itself. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\"dignity<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"Your<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\ud835\ude79\ud835\ude8e \ud835\ude7f\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude94<\/a> – \ud835\ude7d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude96 \ud835\ude93\ud835\ude8e \ud835\ude99\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude94 \ud835\ude92\ud835\ude97<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Everyone in a system has their own place. If you are no longer in the right place, the energy can no longer flow properly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine that your family system is situated on a series of plateaus on a mountain. The emotional and energetic flow of that mountain moves from top to bottom, just like the water in a stream. You stand, in order of birth, on a plateau on the mountain below your parents, together with your brothers and sisters, miscarriages, aborted children, unacknowledged children, and so on. When people are excluded (consciously or unconsciously), you may well end up in that spot because this has created an imbalance in the system, and you take that place in order to restore the balance.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Another common issue is that you take on too much responsibility for your parents when you experience and begin to carry their (unconscious) traumas, in the hope that this will make things better for them \u2013 and therefore for you as well. You try very hard to achieve this and you climb your way up the mountain. In this way, you can become the father or mother to your own parents. But it is an illusion to think that you can resolve your parents\u2019 pain \u2013 or anyone else\u2019s for that matter. Their pain is not lessened by this, and you are shouldering a responsibility that is not yours. The result is that you can no longer receive and can only give. Your parents will no longer be able to see you, and you\u2019ll start to feel very lonely. When you return to your rightful place by giving that responsibility back (because you\u2019re not in charge of your parents or others), you\u2019ll experience a fulfilling life \u2013 with all that it brings and all that it costs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\ud835\ude83\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude9e\ud835\ude96\ud835\ude8a<\/a> – \ud835\ude7b\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude9c\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97 \ud835\ude9f\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude97 \ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude9e\ud835\ude96\ud835\ude8a<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, trivialised, denied, misunderstood and untreated cause of human suffering.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Peter Levine-<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trauma is the experience of lacking the physical, emotional and psychological resources to cope with a situation, leading to feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, being overwhelmed and mortal fear. These experiences are split off (dissociation) as a means of survival, in order to make life bearable again. In short, unprocessed emotions are suppressed. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\"trauma<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

De onverwerkte emoties vormen op deze manier het traumadeel, wat getriggerd kan worden en daarom ook wordt vermeden. Zo ontstaan er overlevingsstrategie\u00ebn vanuit je gezonde kwaliteiten die ervoor zorgen dat de pijn niet meer gevoeld hoeft te worden. Deze overlevingsstrategie\u00ebn worden ook wel maskers genoemd. Als we de verantwoordelijkheid nemen om ons trauma te doorvoelen kunnen we betere beslissingen nemen voor onszelf en zullen onze overlevingsdelen en mechanismes als vanzelf wegvallen. En\u2026 iedereen heeft trauma’s. Deze geurfrequentie zal je ondersteunen in dit proces.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"Loyalty<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\ud835\ude7b\ud835\ude98\ud835\udea2\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude9d<\/a> – \ud835\ude73\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude8b\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude94\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Loyalty is often confused with love. The other person is very important to us, and we do everything we can to make them happy. We feel that if they are happy, we can be happy too. We want to feel that we belong and that we won\u2019t be rejected. The question is, do you remain loyal to the other person or the system, or do you follow your own path? Loyalty stems from a fear of rejection, of not belonging, and from a desire to feel innocent. And that has nothing to do with love. When you are no longer afraid of being rejected, you no longer need to be loyal to what others think is the right thing to do. To develop and grow, you say YES to yourself, even if that means saying no to someone else. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\ud835\ude73\ud835\ude8e \ud835\ude82\ud835\ude99\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude90\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude95<\/a> – \ud835\ude86\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude9d \ud835\ude93\ud835\ude8e \ud835\udea3\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude90\ud835\ude9d \ud835\ude8b\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97 \ud835\ude93\ud835\ude8e \ud835\udea3\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8f<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In a constellation, it often becomes (painfully) clear that, for example, you resemble your mother or father more than you would like. What is at stake here is that what we see in the other person is actually something within ourselves that we do not want to see or feel. We also project our own expectations, desires and judgements onto the other person, rather than taking responsibility and acknowledging and working through these painful feelings. We are responsible for how we feel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you find yourself judging others a lot, this scent frequency will help you see through this mental game. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\"The<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"twins<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\ud835\ude83\ud835\udea0\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude97\ud835\ude9c<\/a> – \ud835\ude78\ud835\ude97 \ud835\ude9f\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude8b\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude97\ud835\ude8d\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude97\ud835\ude90 \ud835\ude95\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude9c\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude8a\ud835\ude9d\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude97<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Als meerling ontstaan maar alleen geboren…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t quite feel at home. You\u2019re still searching. A vague sense that something is missing. Feelings of powerlessness, guilt, abandonment, difficulty letting go, and a fear of commitment. Everyone ends up letting you down. Because no one can replace the lost other half of the twin. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

These are some of the themes that also arise in connection with Vanishing Twin Syndrome. In this condition, you are genetically part of a twin or multiple pregnancy but are born as a singleton. This is quite common. Around 1 in 10 pregnancies begins as a multiple pregnancy. Only 1 in 100 result in twins. This phenomenon can become apparent during a constellation. When it does, a flood of emotions is released and you suddenly understand where all those feelings come from. It is then important that you give your twin half a place within your system, so that you can ground yourself in your body with your feet firmly on the ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\ud835\ude78\ud835\ude97\ud835\ude97\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude95\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude93\ud835\ude94 \ud835\ude7a\ud835\ude92\ud835\ude97\ud835\ude8d<\/a> – \ud835\ude89\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude9b\ud835\ude90 \ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude9b \ud835\ude90\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude8e\ud835\ude8d \ud835\ude9f\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude98\ud835\ude9b<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Mogen alle innerlijke kinderen er zijn? Het blije kind, het gekwetste kind? Vaak wijzen we nog het kleine meisje of jongetje in onszelf af omdat we niet meer willen voelen wat het kind gevoeld heeft. Op het moment dat er een trauma ontstaat, staat de ontwikkeling van het kind stil op de leeftijd waarop het trauma is ontstaan. Dat kan betekenen dat je jezelf misschien terugvindt als een stampende peuter of eigenwijze puber. Wat je dan nodig hebt is dat je het kind in jou omarmt en zegt dat het nu veilig is bij jou, dat je van hem of haar houdt en dat er niets mis is met hem of haar. Dan kan het kind in jou zich verder ontwikkelen en emotioneel volwassen worden.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\"inner<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

When conducting family constellations, it is useful to use a roll-on. This way, the rest of the group is not bothered by the scents and the room does not become completely filled with the sprays. You should always use the roll-on on the client for whom the constellation has been set up. The moment a trauma surfaces, you can apply the roll-on to the client\u2019s hand and let them smell it briefly. If another scent is needed a little later, you can apply it to the other hand, and so on. All frequencies are available as aura spray, essential oil and roll-on. This allows the client to continue using the scents at home in their own preferred way after a constellation session, for ongoing support. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are absolutely delighted with these scent frequencies and were also able to enjoy the scents during a special evening hosted by Sonja. They are comforting, warm and uplifting scents. <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Veel mensen die bezig zijn met het opruimen van oude trauma’s komen bij een therapeut terecht die zich bezig houdt met systemisch werken. Sonja Elferink, een goede vriendin van Marianne,…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":137481,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_title":"","_genesis_description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2125],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-geurlijnen"],"acf":[],"meta_all":{"access_roles_list":""},"meta_all_flat":{"access_roles_list":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137322","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=137322"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137322\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":296628,"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137322\/revisions\/296628"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/137481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=137322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=137322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/degroenelinde.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=137322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}